Depression

March 29, 2025

I walk into January so arrogantly. 

Head held high

Knowing I filled my tank to the brim

Secure in my own advice

I wrote it down

It’s in the notes

Do the assignments 

Listen in class

Learn the material

Study for the test

Advice from oneself is best when observed 

Thoughts

 Change is good

Girls just left Page

It was going to be magical

The core 6

Back together again.

It ended with Indee in the ER. Mia and Chad taking care of all of us. Many pukes over boats and out door windows. Pedialite on ice was a fav. Chad washing out Indee’s room of puke buckets on repeat. Purses going through car washes to get puke off doors. Lots of laundry done by Chad. Now I say goodbye to my girls and feel jilted. A sadness fills me knowing Lake Powell as I knew it is gone.

What the Actual

 Thyroid what?

I went to the appointment by myself.  I touched Dr. Baker's knee. I said this sucks.  He didn't know what to say or how to talk.  Just the facts mam. I got in my car and called Chad who was at an IHSAA meeting.  He had just been approved as the new executive director. I cried. 

Why? What the actual hell?  I had just had the best 3 years of my life.  I was healthy.  I had made healthy habits.  The month before,I finally winged off of all my pain meds.  So overwhelming to have to take them again.  It has made me so f-ed up again.  My iron levels tanked.  Normal range for iron levels is between 50-60.  15 is considered low.  4

4 is my favorite number.

I went through 15 years of sinus hell. isn't that enough? so here we go. I can do this. I'm stronger than I've ever been.

HA

WAY out of my comfort zone!

 The cave of doom!

No...really just the civil defense caves.

 Believe you me, I think I would rather be involved in a nuclear fall out than live in this cave for more than a couple of hours.

 Mia's new camera ready smile...

 Our crew. I would never go down here without numbers and Skiff, Val's dog.

 Scary, right?

 This was called the "birth canal".

That should be self-explanatory.

I was so confused when we got out of there.

I thought left was right, up was down, and east was west.

Indee is missing a few things....

Her ToNsIlS!!!!

When we first got to the hospital Indee said "this is fun".

Waiting for the IV...

And that's done...no big deal! 

She's still smiling.

And now she's hurting and she doesn't care if she can have all the popsicles in the world.

She's starting to feel a little better.

And we are outta here!

Good job Indee, you were a trooper and have had a long week recovering. But you've been a good patient.

btw: her voice is different now...anyone know if it will stay that way? 

Really?

Back to the swamp they go...

Add one more worry to my list....

I have never been to a circus....I can not say that anymore.

 We got our cotton candy

(maybe the top reason to go to a circus)

and we settled in.

 Tigers....

 A man on a rolling board juggling swords...

not something you see everyday.

There were lots of side shows (freak shows).

In true circus form.

I wouldn't have expected anything less.

Although, no bearded lady or wolf-man.

 The elephants were the highlight.

 Yes...she is riding in his mouth.

Scouty loved it! And Canon didn't move.

He just sat there staring and drooling the whole time.

I have never seen him sit so still.

Maybe they should try a circus at church for him, then he would sit.

There were a ton of acrobats and gymnasts in this circus...

Indee kept telling me she wanted to join the circus.

Probably not my first choice in professions for this girl!